FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize