Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
