I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
