Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
