Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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