Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
