that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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