You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
