No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
