just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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