Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
