4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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