So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
