Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
