Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
