Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
