So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
