Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think a kid would responsible me up
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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