My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
