return my video game
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
