Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
