My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
