im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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