i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
