I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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