well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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