How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
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