I feel great
I just peed on a car
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
how drunk are you?
Several
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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