The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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