dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize