6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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