There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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