You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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