so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
