He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
