This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
