That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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