Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
smell my finger.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
