I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
