just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
