Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we're so committed to being not committed
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