yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
