you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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