I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
