my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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