There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
