You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
