I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
