If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
