The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
