Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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