wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
