Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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