Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
