I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
They should really pass out barf bags in church
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
