Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
