she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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