my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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