Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
