My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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