So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
